Studies of Human Affection
by Romansu Neko
Summary: WARNING: Alien x Human love. Yaoi. No lemon, just affection. Why ZADR? Because it’s cute and makes Vasquez cringe. :


WARNING: Alien x Human love. Yaoi. No lemon, just affection. Why ZADR? Because it's cute and makes Vasquez cringe. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.

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_This is it_, I thought. _The last day of senior year. Last day of my childhood life._

I sighed and fidgeted in my desk. It was hard to imagine; school over and real life beginning. It still seemed like I was just a sixth grader, ignoring Ms. Bitter's lectures and glaring holes into the back of 'that strange green new kid's head. In fact, not much of that had changed at all in these six years since then. Thanks to some lame district policy, I had been stuck wit the same teacher and class since my first year of middle school. ("With the same teacher and school mates, students will gain a sense of consistency that will make their school lives much steadier and they will, in turn, learn better." The principal had explained.) Thus, I had also had the 'pleasure' of sharing a class with a certain Irken invader, hell bent on destroying Earth for the past six years. Though I have to admit, I looked back at the years he spent on Earth with a certain fondness. At some point, though I couldn't tell you when exactly, trying to expose Zim as what he truly was and foil his Earth-destruction plans had turned into more of an amusing game than an actual goal in life. I'd like to think that he would agree to some extent. I might even go so far as to say he'd become my closest frie-

"DIB!"

I looked up to see Ms. Bitters standing over my desk.

"Yes?" I asked mildly. She really didn't frighten me anymore.

"Unless you'd like to repeat this year, I suggest you PAY ATTENTION!" She snapped.

Ok, _that_ frightened me.

"Yes Ms. Bitters." I mumbled, and apparently pleased that she hadn't lost her touch, she returned to the front of the class.

"Nice job, _Dib_," Jeered the black haired kid who sat next to me. I rolled my eyes and sneered.

"Shut up Zim, and fix your antenna." I responded tartly, and I wondered if he knew, as he tucked the tip of his insect-like feeler back under his wig, that my words had sounded more hostile than I had truly meant.

"Now," Ms. Bitters began speaking. "As I was saying, the school board has ordered all seniors to be taken on a field trip on their last day of school. _Apparently_, those administrative know-it-alls want your last memory of this school to be a happy one so that you'll be more inclined to send your sniveling, blood-sucking offspring here as well."

The class cheered.

"SO," Ms. Bitters continued irritably. "We will be taking a hike to the city cesspool." She paused. "At least, that's what I told the office. I personally don't give a hoot _where_ you go, but if you want to graduate so you can become just another corporate mind slave, then I suggest you return to this classroom by the time the end of the day bell rings. Now, get out of here."

The students sprang to their feet and ran out the door. I stood, and followed a small group of class mates that I heard talking about actually going to the cesspool. Not like I really had anywhere else to go. Apparently, Zim didn't either, or maybe he was just trying to maintain a human appearance. Either way, he trailed along behind me and the other cesspool kids.

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It took us all morning to get to the road that took you directly to the city's pool of filth, but I really had no intention of heading all the way up there. Instead, as we passed by a trail that had been made by many a hiker and lead up a hill into sparse woodland, I veered off the main road and made my way up the hill. It was peaceful once I wandered into the trees. Birds sang happily, rabbits scuttled by and…you know…other foresty peaceful stuff like that. I followed the tiny trail all the way up to the peak of the hill, and I was rather shocked by the view; at the top of this enormous mound, the trees disappeared, the grass was softer than I'd ever felt, and from where I sat down I could see the entire city. I smiled, crossed my legs in front of me and leaned back, my arms supporting me.

"You should see this, Zim. I didn't even know a place like this existed. You can see every building for miles from here." I said.

The Irken slunk out of the trees behind me.

"Dib-pig! How did you know I was there?!" He demanded as he approached me.

"Call it a hunch," I responded without even turning to look at him. I heard the alien make a 'hmph'-like noise as he came closer and sat down a good three feet from me. I glanced over at him.

"You can take your 'disguise' off," I pointed out. "There's no one up here but you and me."

"What disguise? Zim has no disguise! Zim is human! I will not fall for your foolish traps, Dib-pig!" He announced. I snorted.

"Fine, have it your way." Then I returned my gaze to the city view. As soon as I turned away, I saw the Irken out of the corner of my eye, removing his wig and contacts. I couldn't help but smirk and I turned to look at him again.

"What?!" He demanded.

"You know Zim," I responded. "You've changed a lot."

He got a confused look on his face and cocked his head to the side. I chuckled.

"Haven't you noticed? You're aging like a human." I pointed out.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Earth-boy." Zim grumbled with a disgusted yet undeniably curious expression.

"It's true," I insisted. "You're nearly as tall as I am, for one."

I, like many a teenage boy, had shot up once I hit sixteen or seventeen. I was even, arguably, one of the tallest in my class. I got that from my dad, I suppose. I assumed Zim would remain the same height for his duration here at Earth, but about a year ago I realized that the alien came at least to my shoulders.

"I thought Irkens were short creatures and only your leaders were tall." I mused aloud.

"Well…I…" Zim mumbled, glancing down at his outstretched legs as if he just noticed they had indeed grown longer.

"Your face has matured as well," I continued. "In fact, if you were to ask someone, I imagine they'd say you and I were the same age: 18 years old." I said.

"Psh," Zim scoffed. "Irkens are a superior race, Dib-pig. I've probably just adapted to my environment so your foolish human friends won't recognize me."

I snorted and chuckled a little as I turned my head back towards the city. From the corner of my eye I saw the alien again, his hand on his face, feeling around for 'maturity'. I laughed quietly to myself and Zim dropped his hand to his side. We were silent for some time, just alien and human, sitting together on a hill and staring at the cityscape before us. For the first time in a while I felt at ease and truly happy.

"I can't stay here, Zim," I said after a moment. I felt him turn to look at me, and I could already picture his confused look, but I continued to stare straight ahead.

"I mean, I can't stay in this city." I clarified.

"What?" Zim asked. "But…is this filth hole not your," He paused, searching for the right word. "Home?"

Still, I did not look at him.

"I suppose in a sense, this place is home…but…my heart just isn't here."

"What do you mean?" I have studied human anatomy; your heart is in your chest, how could it be anywhere but here, where _you_ are?" The Irken questioned irritably.

"That's not what I mean-" I began, but Zim interrupted.

"Besides," He exclaimed. "Are you not afraid that I, Zim, will destroy your filth planet? Are you going to give up? Stop ruining my ingenious plans for destruction?" He yelled out, flailing his arms a bit.

Long ago, when I realized that my attempts to show the world what Zim really was had become nothing more than a game, I finally understood that Irk was not threat. If our planet was really wanted, they would have sent reinforcements years ago, no? And Zim…well…sometimes I really questioned whether or not he would, given the opportunity, truly destroy or take over Earth. I can't really explain my reasoning behind that…just…a feeling I suppose. I didn't want to burst his bubble now, however.

"Well, I figured I'd tell Gaz to keep an eye on you," I lied. I wonder what face he was making now, but I didn't dare turn to look at him.

"Besides, I'm done with the whole 'big foot' and 'aliens' thing." I admitted. "Well, maybe not the alien thing. In fact, what I really want to do is find a small house somewhere, in the middle of nowhere, where I can see the entire night sky clearly and study the stars, maybe find more life out there." I said. And that was the truth.

"But…" Zim muttered, but it was clear he could think of nothing more to say. Finally, I turned my head and looked at him. He really did look older, like a teenage human. His jaw was more chiseled, his chin squarer than before, and his red round eyes even seemed softer. I could even say he looked…handsome. Right now though, his beautiful face was twisted into a hurt, betrayed expression usually reserved for small children who had just been informed that Santa Clause doesn't really exist, or that Fifi hadn't actually gone on vacation but had instead been hit by a very large bus. It surprised me how they idea of me leaving pained Zim so, but what surprised me even more was how very badly I wanted to make him stop hurting. I rolled over onto my hands and knees and closed the distance between us. Zim recoiled as I straddled his hips and outstretched legs, one knee on either side of him.

"Dib…?" He murmured as I placed my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him down on the soft grass.

"Dib, what are you doing?" The confused little Irken questioned. His pale green cheeks had darkened significantly.

"What did you study, Zim?" I asked him. "About humans, I mean."

"Uh, e-eating patterns…s-social n-n-norms…" He stuttered. I lowered my head and positioned my lips next to the small, reptile-like ear hold on the side of his head.

"Affection, Zim," I whispered. I felt him shudder beneath me. "What about human affection?"

"A-affection?" He repeated in a tiny voice.

I lifted my head of his, my lips just ever-so-lightly brushing his.

"Yes Zim," I whispered. "Affection."

My body felt as though it was on fire as I pushed my lips against his, softly at first, then harder and wit more passion. After his initial shock wore off, I felt the Irken wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, and as I ran my tongue across his lips it occurred to me that my little Irken must have indeed learned about 'the kiss', for he opened his mouth ever so slightly and my tongue was met by his enthusiastic yet strange, alien one. It felt like several perfect hours before we separated. I found myself lying on top of the Irken invader, my upper half propped up by an elbow. Our faces remained just inches apart.

"Maybe," The alien under me whispered. "Zim could join you when you leave this filth city and go study the stars."

I arched an eyebrow, a smirk forming on my face.

"Just so I could be sure you're not spying on Irk," He recovered quickly. My smirk grew into a grin.

"I would like that very much. That way, I can foil your evil earth-destroying plans."

This time, Zim grinned. I brushed the back of my hand against his cheek and he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Perhaps you should give me more examples of this 'hyooman affection'." Zim suggested.

"It would be my pleasure," I responded softly. I ran my hand down his side and lowered my head for another kiss.

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Author's Note: Thanks for reading guys. I was being super lazy and didn't feel like re-reading and editing this, so if you found any bits that didn't make any sense or was spelled incorrectly or something, please let me know so I can change it and make it easier to read.


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